My most honest story. Why I have been writing

If you have spent any time on social media recently, you have probably seen discussions about the Epstein files.

For many people the reaction is the same: disgust, disbelief, and a sense of deception. The scale of what is suggested there is difficult to comprehend, and the fact that very few people have been held accountable only deepens the sense that something in our systems does not function the way we assume it does. 

For those who have looked further, another uncomfortable pattern appears. Powerful people across politics, business, media and entertainment seem to show up again and again around the same circles of influence.

What that ultimately means is still debated. But one thing has become clear to many observers: power at the highest levels often operates through leverage, influence and pressure that ordinary citizens rarely see.

And once you start noticing this, another question naturally follows. How do systems maintain control over long periods of time?

Not through one leader or one government, but through structures that outlast individual administrations. Through financial systems, narratives, alliances, and institutions that shape the direction of societies for decades, if not longer.

When you start looking at the world through that lens, events begin to look less like isolated incidents and more like pieces in a much larger puzzle.

Wars are presented through one narrative, financial systems through another, political cycles through yet another. Yet the patterns behind them sometimes point to deeper coordination of interests and power.

Many people have begun questioning this more openly since 2020. Others have been asking these questions for much longer.

For me, that moment started over twenty years ago.

The attacks of September 11 raised questions for me that I could not easily put aside. Especially the collapse of the third tower, which had not been struck by a plane. Something about the official explanation never fully resolved the doubts in my mind.

But if I am honest, the questioning started even earlier.

As a child I often wondered why humanity seems locked in cycles of conflict, war and suffering. Why, with all our intelligence and resources, we rarely see leaders capable of changing the direction in ways that truly reduce suffering and empowers the people.

Over the years I asked questions. I shared observations. Sometimes that led to meaningful conversations. More often it placed me in a familiar corner: the one labeled “conspiracy thinker.”

At the same time, I found myself searching in many directions, listening to many different voices. Yet none of them fully resonated. Every perspective seemed to reveal a piece of the puzzle, but never the whole picture.

So even while questioning the dominant narratives, I often felt strangely alone. If I didn’t fully believe the mainstream story, and I also didn’t fully align with the alternative ones, where did I belong?

Being ridiculed is tough. And after some time I stopped trying to convince anyone.

Instead, I turned inward.

The real work for me was not proving anything to the world. It was understanding my own reactions — my frustration, my need for others to see what I saw, my anger about the things that seemed unjust.

That inner work changed everything.

Strengthening my connection to my heart. Learning to stay grounded instead of reactive. Releasing the need to awaken others. Even releasing the need to know exactly how everything works behind the scenes.

What shifted was not the outside world, but my relationship to it.

I became more honest with myself. Where was I still hiding? Where was I still playing the victim? Where was I judging or criticizing others while believing I saw more clearly?

That honesty reshaped my path. Not perfectly. Not smoothly. There are still moments of frustration, of speaking too quickly, of losing balance. But the direction remained clear: make choices from within, and let those choices reveal the next step.

That path has now brought me here.

Renovating my house in Italy. Preparing the Mirror Field gatherings that will begin this summer.

The intention behind these days is simple. To create a space where people can step out of the noise, sit together, and look honestly at the questions that many of us carry.

Not to convince each other of one narrative or another. But to strengthen something that has become rare these days: neutral perceptions, grounded presence, and the ability to think and feel independently.

Because when individuals become anchored in themselves, something shifts. Conversations become possible again. New ideas emerge. Different choices are made, in our work, our relationships, and the systems we participate in.

There are still many dots to connect in the world around us. Many narratives to examine. But none of that matters if we lose our inner stability while doing it.

These are intense times to be alive. At times confusing, unsettling, even overwhelming. And yet I also feel that being here now is not accidental.

Which brings me to one simple question:

What about you?